I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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