I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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