hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
