Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She's like a pop up book from hell.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The feeling are messing with the penis
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
