CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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