I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
