If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
