Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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