that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Sext me about skeletons
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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