There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
