In the future we'll all be gay
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
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