My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
