6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
