its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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