she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
