hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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