we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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