cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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