Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Mom said you looked used
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
