Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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