Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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