haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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