Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Randomize
