We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
