You're earring is so big in my mouth
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
