tell your sister to shave her snatch
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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