This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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