You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
