I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I need moral support for this bender
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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