I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
