i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
