um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
