hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I love you. Go after that dick
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
