The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
