I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
