So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
