Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
