Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
