If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
