well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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