u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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