I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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