Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
