the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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