I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
you never un-have a 4some
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
