margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
