Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Semen is not good for contacts.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
