should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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