he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
