Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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