I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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