I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
